Living Will

New Living Will Form

I, _________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

______a cold beer
______a glass of wine
______a Bloody Mary
______a Margarita
______a Scotch and soda
______a Martini
______a Vodka and Tonic
______ a Bourbon on the rocks
______a Steak
______Lobster or crab legs
______ The remote control
______a Bowl of ice cream
______The sports page
______ Golf
______Chocolate
______Sex

it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.