THE CAT

(You Don't Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One!)
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Ever Party. We turned
on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet
and put the cat in the backyard.
We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and
we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the
yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house
because she always tries to eat the bird.
My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat
runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't
want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she
explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, "He's just going
upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."
A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said, as
we drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke
her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I
grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her
from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and
threw her out into the back yard!"
The cab driver hit a parked car.

Thanks Mom...