Quickies....
One day, Jay Dini came home and was greeted by his wife dressed In a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do Anything you want."
So he tied her up and went fishing.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, And the other is a husband.
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the Convent." "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired Of Chardonnay."
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt Them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you?
You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied,
"I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain Man, was drafted by the Army.
On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.
That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.
That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.
The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
So he tied her up and went fishing.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, And the other is a husband.
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the Convent." "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired Of Chardonnay."
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt Them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you?
You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied,
"I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain Man, was drafted by the Army.
On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.
That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.
That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.
The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
posted by Hujonwi at 01:12
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