History....

July 8, 1947 witnesses claimed that an unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch outside Roswell , New Mexico .
This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and the Federal Government.
However, you may NOT know that in the month of March 1948 , exactly nine months after that historic day:
Albert Arnold Gore, Jr.
Hillary Rodham ;
John F. Kerry;
William Jefferson Clinton;
Howard Dean;
Nancy Pelosi;
Dianne Feinstein;
Charles E. Schumer and,
Barbara Boxer were born.
See what happens when aliens breed with sheep... This piece of information may clear up a lot of things.

Panhandling

Jose and Carlos are panhandling at the freeway off ramp.
Jose drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.
Carlos only brings in 2 to 3 dollars a day.
Carlos asks Jose how he can bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day.
Jose says, "Look at your sign." It reads: "I have no work, a wife & 6 kids to support"
Carlos looks at Jose's sign.
It reads: "I only need another $10.00 to move back to Mexico"

Thanks Wild Bill...

Yep...

Strange Quotes - Things You Shouldn't Do.....
"Don't carry a grudge. While you're carrying the grudge, the other guy's out dancing." - Buddy Hackett
"Don't get mad. Don't get even. Just get elected, then get even." - James Carville
"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." - Janis Joplin
"Never attribute to malice what can adequately be explained by stupidity." - Nick Diamos
"Never believe in mirrors or newspapers." - Tom Stoppard
"Never drink black coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake all afternoon." - Jilly Cooper
"Never purchase beauty products in a hardware store." - Miss Piggy
==================================
Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Fascinating Facts
Fascinating Facts: Trivial Persuit
Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month?
A. Conception.
Q. Only 14% of Americans say they've done this with the opposite sex.
What is it?
A. Skinny dipping.
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace. This is propinquity.
Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession
Q. More women do this in the bathroom than men.
A. Wash their hands. Women: 80%, men: 55%.
Q. What do 100% of all lottery winners do?
A. Gain weight.
Q. In a recent survey, Americans revealed that this was their favorite smell.
A. Banana.
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand.
Q. What do bullet-proof vests, fire escapes, windscreen wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.
Q. Married men revealed that they do this twice as often as single men.
A. Change their underwear.
Q. This stimulates 29 muscles and chemicals causing relaxation. Women seem to like it light and frequent, men like it more strenuous.
A. A kiss.
Q. This is the only food that doesn't spoil.
A. Honey.
Q. 40% of all people who come to a party in your home do this?
A. Have a look in your medicine cabinet.
Q. 3.9% of all women surveyed say they never do this.
A. Wear underwear.
Q. What common everyday occurrence is composed of 59% nitrogen, 21% hydrogen, and 9% carbon dioxide?
A. A fart.

Remember

REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE A KID AND YOUR PARENTS LINED YOU UP AGAINST A DOOR FRAME TO MARK HOW TALL YOU WERE AND DATED THE MARK? WELL THIS CARTOON BRINGS A WHOLE NEW PERSPECTIVE TO THAT EXERCISE :-)

LAUGHTER WILL KEEP YOU YOUNG AT HEART



Thanks Judy...

12 Valid Reasons Not To Come In To Work

1. I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?
2. When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.
3. My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.
4. I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.
5. If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work.
The voices told me to clean all the guns today.
6. I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet....
7. I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at Tom Thumb.
8. Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.
9. Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.
10. I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
11. The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.
12. The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.

Advancements in Military

Don't muss with us....

Thanks Goose

Yep...

Only women will be able to relate to this..... But this is what takes us so long in the bathroom:
When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.
Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.
You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume " The Stance."
In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance."
To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more.
You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail .
Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT.
It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late.
Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.
At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.
You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.
You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"
This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!
This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!

Top Ten List...

Top Ten Blonde Inventions
10...The water-proof towel
9...Solar powered flashlight
8...Submarine screen door
7...A book on how to read
6...Inflatable dart board
5...A dictionary index
4...Ejector seat in a helicopter.
5...Powdered water
2...Pedal-powered wheel chair
1...Water-proof tea bag

Top Ten Funniest Email Adresses
10...Hellen Thomas Eatons (Duke University) - eatonsht@dku.edu
9...Martha Elizibeth Cummins (Fresno University) - cumminme@fu.edu
8...George David Blowmer (Drop Front Drawers & Cabinets Inc.) -blowmegd@dropdrawers.com
7...Mary Ellen Dickinson (Indiana University of Pennsylvania) -dickinme@iup.edu
6...Francis Kevin Kissinger (Las Verdes University) -kissinfk@lvu.edu
5...Barbara Joan Beeranger (Myplace Home decorating)- beeranbj@myplace.com
4...Amanda Sue Pickering (Purdue University) - aspicker@pu.edu
3...Ida Beatrice Ballinger (Ball State University) -ibballin@bsu.edu
2...Bradley Thomas Kissering (Brady Electrical, Northern Division,Overton Canada) - btkisser@bendover.com
1...Isabelle Haydon Adcock (Toys "R" Us) - ihadcock@tru.co


Top Ten Children's books never published
10...You Were An Accident.
9...Strangers Have The Best Candy.
8...Attention Deficit Disorder Handbook For Children..Hey Lets Go Play!
7...What Is That Dog Doing To That Other Dog?
6...Daddy's New Girlfriend, Steve.
5...101 Animal Cruelties.
4...Controlling Your Playground Through Fear.
3...Things Rich Kids Have And You Never Will.
2...Garfields Got Feline AIDS.
1...Blackmail The Principal...The Study Guide.

Top Ten shortest books
10.... DETROIT - A TRAVEL GUIDE
9.... DR. KEVORKIAN'S COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
8.... EVERYTHING MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN
7.... EVERYTHING WOMEN KNOW ABOUT MEN
6.... ALL THE MEN I'VE LOVED BEFORE - by Ellen DeGeneres
5.... MIKE TYSON'S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
4.... SPOTTED OWL RECIPES - by the Sierra Club
3.... THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
2.... MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS - by O. J. Simpson
1....MY BOOK OF MORALS - by Bill Clinton


Top Ten Funniest Newspaper Headlines
1.... "Overeating main cause of obesity"
2.... "Dog kills cat, self"
3.... "Two ships collide. One dead"
4.... "Found -- the gene that causes belief in genetic determinism"
5.... "A congressionally-funded study has determined that many smokers are ignoring the warning labels on cigarette packages."
6.... "Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted"
7.... "Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents"
8.... "Eye Drops Off Shelf"
9.... "Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax"
10.... "Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"

Top Ten things A Man Would Never Say
10..... I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.
9..... While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
8..... I think hairy butts are realy sexy.
7..... Her tits are just too big.
6..... Sometimes I just want to be held.
5..... That chick on Murder She Wrote gives me a woody.
4..... Sure, I'd love to wear a condom.
3..... We haven't been to the mall in ages. Let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.
2....Fuck Monday Night Football, let's watch Murphy Brown.
1..... I think we're lost. We'd better pull over and ask for directions.


Top Ten things A Woman Would Never Say
10..... Could our relationship be more physical? I'm tired of just being friends.
9..... Go ahead and leave the seat up. It's easier for me to douche that way.
8..... I think hairy butts are really sexy.
7..... Hey, get a whiff of that one.
6..... Please don't throw that old T-shirt away. The holes in the armpit are just too cute!
5..... This diamond is way too big!
4..... I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow!
3..... Wow, it really is 14 inches!!
2..... Does this make my butt look too small?
1..... I'm wrong. You must be right again.

Curly's Joke Of The Day

To prepare for his big date with a blonde hottie, the young man wentup to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself.
Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude.
Unfortunately, the youngman fell asleep while on the roof, and managed to get a sunburn on his "tool of the trade."
This young man was determined not to miss this date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze.
The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a homecooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie.
During the movie, however, the young man's sunburn started acting up again.
He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen, and poured himself a tall, cool, glass of milk.
He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced an immediate relief of his pain.
The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his Johnson immersed in the glass of milk.
Upon seeing this, the blonde exclaimed, "So that's how you guys load those things!"

Coolest Headstone

Headstone of Russell J. Larsen in The Logan City Cemetery,Logan ,Utah.
I wonder if he died knowing he won the "Coolest Headstone" contest?



FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:
1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

Been There...

6 Levels Of Hangovers
*One Star Hangover*
No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap, which has given you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 sodas and still feel this way. You are craving a steak bomb and a side of gravy fries.
*Two Star Hangover
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a rootie tootie fresh and fruity pancake breakfast from IHOP. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.
*Three Star Hangover*
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer 86'd you at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a meatball hero watching the E! fashion awards. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 Snapples and a liter of diet coke, yet you haven't peed once.
*Four Star Hangover
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.) Your eyes look like one big vein and your hair style makes you look like a reject from the class picture of Grover Cleveland HS, class of '84.
*Five Star Hangover
*AKA "Dante's 4th Circle of Hell."
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the shit fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. Death seems pretty good right now. You definitely don't remember who you were with, where you were, what you drank and why there is a stranger still sleeping in your bed at your otherwise empty house.
*Six Star Hangover*
Otherwise known as the "Infinite Nut smacker"
You wake up on your bathroom floor. For about 2 seconds you look at the ceiling, wondering if the cool refreshing feeling on your cheek is the bathroom tile or your vomit from 5 hours ago. It is amazing how your roommate was as drunk as you, but somehow managed to get up before you. You try to lift your head. Not an option. Then you inadvertently turn your head too quickly and smell the funk of 13 packs of cigarettes in your hair. Suddenly you realize you were smoking, but not ultra lights... some jackass handed you Marlboro reds, and you smoked them like it was your second full time job. You look in the mirror only to see remnants of the stamp "Ready to Rock" faintly atop your forehead... the stamp on the back of your hand that has magically appeared on your forehead by alcoholic osmosis. You have to be to work in t-minus 14 minutes and 32 seconds and the only thing you can think of wearing is your "hello kitty" pajamas and your slippers.

Consider These 3 Thoughts

(1) Zero Gravity
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C.
The Russians used a pencil. Your taxes are due again--enjoy paying them.
(2) Our Constitution
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, and it's worked for over 200 years. And, we're not using it anymore.
(3) Ten Commandments
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse is that you cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

Thanks Wild Bill

StrangeCosmos.com

Strange "Money" Quotes:
"Early to bed and early to rise -- till you get enough money to do otherwise." - Peter's Almanac
"God is on everyone's side … and in the last analysis, he is on the side with plenty of money and large armies. - Jean Anouilh (1910-87), French playwright
University President: "Why is it that you physicists always require so much expensive equipment? Now the Department of Mathematics requires nothing but money for paper, pencils, and erasers...and the Department of Philosophy is better still. It doesn't even ask for erasers."- Isaac Asimov (1920-92), Russian-born American scientist, writer
"The only reason to have money is to tell any SOB in the world to go to hell." - Humphrey Bogart, American actor
"The surest way to get rid of a bore is to lend money to him." - Paul Louis Courier
"Christmas is the season when people run out of money before they run out of friends." - Larry Wilde
==================================
Today's Featured Humor : -) - Combat for Dummies
Combat for Dummies
Advice and instructions taken from actual military sources. Some of these guys must have had a sense of humor
"Aim towards the enemy."
--Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher
"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."
--U.S. Marine Corps
"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."
--USAF Ammo Troop
"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
--Infantry Journal
"A slipping gear could let your m203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
--Army's magazine of prevention maintenance
"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."
--U.S. Air Force manual
"Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo."
--Infantry Journal
"Tracers work both ways."
--U.S. Army Ordnance
"Five-second fuses only last three seconds."
--Infantry Journal
"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
--David Hackworth
"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush."
--Infantry Journal
"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
--Joe Gay
"Any ship can be a minesweeper....once."
--Anon
"Never tell the platoon sergeant you have nothing to do."
--Unknown Marine Recruit
"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
--Infantry Journal
"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him."
--USAF Ammo Troop
Submitted by Lt Schmidt

FINALLY, THE 5 ANSWERS WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR:

Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
A: It's Braille for 'suck here'.
Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'down under.'
Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But when they go, they take your house and car with them.
Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch.
Thought for the day:
What is a man's Ultimate embarrassment?
Answer: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose...

Thanks Neenie

Sleepy Sailor

By the time the sailor pulled into a little town every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where."
"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant -- an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."
"No problem," the tired Navy man assured him. "I'll take it."
The next morning, the sailor came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager. "Never better."
The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring?"
"Nope. I shut him up in no time," said the Navy guy.
"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.
"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the sailor explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and said, 'Goodnight beautiful,'...And he sat up all night watching me."

Thanks Wild Bill

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"
The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."

Thanks Wild Bill

Jesse Jackson

Jesse Jackson got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head.
In sheer panic and fearing he was turning white and might have to start working for a living, he called his doctor and told him of his problem.
The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately.
After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Jesse, and told him to drink it all.
Jesse drank the concoction and replied, "God, that tasted like bull shit!"
The doctor replied, "It was, Jesse. You were a quart low."

Good One....

A little old Lady is walking around in a supermarket calling out, "Crisco, Crissssssssco!"
Soon an assistant manager approaches and says, "Mamm, the Crisco is in aisle 3."
The old Lady replies, "Oh, I'm not looking for the cooking stuff. I'm calling my Husband. He's in here somewhere"
The clerk is astonished. "Your Husband's name is Crisco?"
The old Lady answers, "Oh no, no, no. I only call him that when we're out in public."
"Oh, I see," said the clerk "What do you call him at home?"
"Lard ass."

Not Happy...

This morning, I was in a huge hurry and on my way to work. I was preoccupied with what my day held and I rear-ended a car at a stop > light because I was not really paying attention.
"Great, just great", I muttered.
The driver opened his door........leaned out of his car and stared at me. He was a dwarf. He got out, studied the damage on his bumper, and walked towards me as I rolled down my window.
He said, "I am not happy"...
To which I replied, "Well.... which one are you then?"

Not PC here...

A man lost both ears in an accident. No plastic surgeon could offer him a solution. He heard of a very good one in Sweden, and went to him. The new surgeon examined him, thought a while, and said, "yes, I can put you right."
After the operation, bandages off, stitches out, he goes to his hotel. The morning after, in a rage, he calls his surgeon, and yells,
"You swine, you gave me a woman's ears." "Well, an ear is an ear, it makes no difference whether it is a man's or a woman's." "You're wrong,
I hear everything, but I don't understand a thing!
======================================================================
Why do blondes get confused in the bathroom?
They have to pull their own pants down.
What do you call a blonde with a map, compass, and set of directions?
Lost.

The Sex Fairy

Works for me...
1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.
2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.
4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!
5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
7 . Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

Thanks Neenie...